I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
