Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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