I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
