Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There r osticjed everywhere
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
