The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I had to cum in my sink.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
