omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
