She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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