dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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