Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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