Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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