Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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