i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
