were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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