i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
