We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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