Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
