okay pat passed out under dana's car
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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