After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
