those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
