Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
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I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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