I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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