there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
