I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
