Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
