You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
