i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
