he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You left your phone here
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