So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize