Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
