i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
