just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
