It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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