I'm really into asian looking animals
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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