your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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