We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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