even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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