craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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