the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
