and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
