Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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