I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
