Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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