the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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