like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
