i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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