Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dignity is for republicans.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
