my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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