That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
