i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
