I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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