not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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