dude i'm inner monologue high
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
3pm strippers are depressing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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