He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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