The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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