how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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