she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
