Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
