i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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