My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
