Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
