Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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