Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
