she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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