Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize