Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
