u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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