There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
