I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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